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All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible.    T. E. Lawrence (1888 - 1935), "The Seven Pillars of Wisdom"

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Thursday, 20 December 2012 00:00
Birth Control

Rav Bar-Hayim,

I have family members with young children 2 or 3 below the age of 4 each.   The have been told that they must get a heter from a Rav to use birth control to  pace the frequency of births.

Also they must get a heter if they at some point want to have no more than 3 or 4 children.   Each has some considerations about the stress on the mother in working  (needed to support them)  while raising this larger number of children .  With incomes what they are in Israel, at least one of the families is unable to manage without both parents working.

What is the proper approach to these questions from a halachic viewpoint?



  1. The requirement for P'ru U'R'vu is one boy and one girl. If a couple has a boy and a girl, they may certainly use birth control in the situation that you describe.
  2. Even if a couple does not yet have one boy and one girl but do have children and are finding things difficult at the moment, they may use birth control for a time, based on their circumstances, in consultation with a competent Rav.
Kol Tuv
Rabbi David Bar-Hayim
Last Updated on Friday, 21 December 2012 10:23